January 2, 2011

To Dear You



To Dear You

Sometimes I have pondered if you really exist, but then I think, feel and know that you do.

There is a part of every girls heart that imagines her prince charming saving her from her evil stepmother to wake her up from her nightmares and give her that first true love kiss...the one that makes the world perfect and takes me to heaven on earth.

In primary school, he becomes the sweet kind hearted boy, the one who is willing to respect the girls in the playground which makes him a target for other boys who are yet realize the true beauty of the female form. The angels looking out for him. This young boy is different. He's special.

Come high school, it’s that boy you wanted so badly to attend prom with but by circumstances seemingly outside my control, he moves away. Maybe it was his dad's work.

A few years later into this life and still unwilling to give my heart away. I think there might be other people like me. Maybe that boy had the same type of feelings, having been on a enormous roller coaster ride, but perhaps secretly looking out for 'the one' - his true love and soulmate.

A broken marriage, a few heartbreaks later and a few years wiser, I will admit there are times and a multitude of questions for your existence because I have not met a guy that makes my heart sing, takes my breath away, makes everything right, offers warmth, understanding, thinks the world of me, and makes each day worth living. You make me feel alive, and always looking forward to the next day, the next eye contact, touch... both looking forward to the wonderful journey together in life we will share. We both desire largely the same things, emotions, passion, dreams - just everything. Will they find each other? Can we both offer each other what each really want? I have a feeling I might have passed him on the street, or was it the internet, or a friend of a friend? I have a feeling deep inside that I will meet this one in a million guy. Gee, you might even be reading this, or trying to read my mind. I have a feeling you already know me. You're not a complete stranger. I will leave it up to God and the universe. I’m pretty sure our story will be amazing.

However I can’t promise you that I would make the world’s perfect princess. Maybe you're not totally looking for that, or maybe you think I am that princess...maybe even a goddess yet to fully bloom, and you will be the one to see my wings and halo develop into its mature form. You can guide my wings and take me where I need to go, to fly, right by my side. You can help me with my garden. To help show me where to plant the seeds, so it will grow the just way I (and you) want it. Ever loyal, helping find the right path to follow, and with an attentive heart and ear, always eager to please. In any way and grow old together. Oh, and you are also pretty good at reading me, like when I ask for two sugars, you know I mean three. You just like to help and see a smile on my face. You just love being in my presence, as I do yours. We will never grow tired of each other. You're open to ideas, and I enjoy surprising you, be it some game, little secret, a special place to go for a picnic or late night swim. Maybe even skinny dipping :) I will probably keep you on your toes. I will amuse you, if not shock you, with my eccentricities and my colorful family, but I know you want me for me, as well as thinking the world of my son too.

What I can promise you is that I would be your best friend and that person you can come home to after a rough day. The person you can text if you are feeling sad or down.  I would probably mess up your hair and hug and kiss you for too long but that would be only because I absolutely adore you. I think you will love the attention. You will never want to let go of me either, and of course you'll kiss me all over. Yes, that would be so nice.

I would bury my head in your shoulders during scary movies and make you feel like Spiderman when you kill those creepy spiders. I would cook your favorite meal and try my best to make friends with your mum. I would watch wrestling and the cricket with you and not complain when you cheer too loudly at the television set. I know the difference between giving you space and being there for you, even if it means I'm doing something with you that I otherwise wouldn't. I will listen to your music and we'll go on adventures together seeing both Australia and the world, taking awesome photographs together, meeting people, eating yummy food and never running out of things to tell each other.

I won’t be waiting for you to sweep me off my feet and take me to fancy places because I know that I won’t need anything like that to fall for you. We could take long walks under the stars at night. You will be the guy that takes me the way I am. The guy that truly accepts my son and is never jealous or spiteful towards him. You will be someone I totally imagine my future and dreams with. You will become that someone whose smile I wake up to in the morning and the last one I speak to at night. 

So if this man does exist this is the man I can’t wait to love. Please know that I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, but for now I will wait. Fingers crossed, I hope you're out there somewhere waiting for me too. Let me know very soon, when the time is right, and I'm looking forward to it.

From me.